sorry for my grammars.
this was done last month. :>
hello again~ ;w; ugh. you know It's been a long long week and I didn't update my boss about my progress of work for the game. It all started when I got my 3rd tablet, it's bamboo fun pen and touch, the size is medium. ;_; It was so different from my 2nd tablet: Genius Mousepen. I couldn't control the pressure of water tool or any drawing tools in Sai. Right now I'm looking for any style in the internet that I can do. ;_; ugh I have a serious Artist's Block or Creative Block. OTL I don't know what to do today and I think my boss is angry *sob* but I hope he's not. ;_; Boss is great... he's not strict... The problem here is me. OTL ugh what to doooo. ;_; art block waa...I must finish my work ASAP..
School makes you even more busy, there are projects, readings, reports, papers and stuffs. *sigh* wish I have free time and get more motivations for my drawing skillz. This is my 3rd year life in college (actually I'm still 2nd year but irregular because I dropped one of my majors which is Design subjects, of course it's required) so I'm delayed right now or they call it "Irregular". ;w;... so yeah I have to work hard and finish all of my required subjects which are my minor subjects. You know how hard life was especially to your parents who "almost" spent their time earning lots of money for education. This is how bad I am that I didn't think about them, I just thought of myself. I'm a selfish jerk. So now I want to fix everything... erase all wrong doings and start a new one, positively.
Back from my title which is "existence". People often ask me when they look up to my works "WHY DO YOU EXIST?"... right even awhile ago when my classmate in Art History asked me "why do you exist?"... I began to wonder why too.. You know it was confusing why people asked me this kind of question. Before I also asked myself why am I here in this world?.. it always repeat in my mind. But then I just thought that maybe there's a purpose why... Does this people are just complementing me or not? People often tell me: "You are so good, great, amazing, nice.. etc " or sometimes "at the very young age you are too good, you're so pro" , I ostly answer them back "thanks, but not really" or compare to other amazing artist that they are more better than mine.ne.. It was nice to hear but I don't want to make my head so big and boast my works around. It's not what I want, all I want to do is to make others inspire from my works. Still I don't find my works good... I even found out that I'm a Perfectionist, even my dad saw this personality of me.
I don't want to be hated.. *actually*. so I want to be nice to everyone. What I really want to is not just make others inspire but to make them HAPPY. even though I'm depressed... so the "WHY DO YOU EXIST?" thing kinda surprises me that bad but I think I misunderstands these people. just another lesson learned.
I am not amazing, i am just a normal person who
loves to draw. I exists because of everyone. Happiness exists. Inspiration exists. You and I, everyone, and even the world, we exist. haha
sorry for my grammars. Thanks for reading! QuQ